I loved you then, I love you now
by Savage3511
Summary: The second part of The Tacoma Killer gets a daughter. Will Jax be able to show Zariah that he has changed so she will come back to Charming. With secrets of the past popping up and Zariah's past following her will she be able to fight for the one she loves? Will Gemma be able to protect the ones she loves or will secrets of the past rip it all apart?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Pregnancy.

I sat in the SAMTAC nomad club house 9 months pregnant.. I was cleaning up after the huge breakfast. "Zariah, let me help" The prospect, Aries said. "I'm almost done. Have you seen my dad?" I asked. "Yeah they are having church, are you going to go back to Charmin with him?" "Nah, I rather stay here" I said. "Okay" Aries said.

I finished pulling my hair up in to a messy bun and got done getting dressed when I felt something warm run down my leg, It wasn't pee because I just finished going to the bathroom and it didn't smell like it. I changed out of my sweats and underwear and pulled on new underwear and blue sweats. Then a sharp pain hit. I bent over as much as I could. "RANE!" I yelled. Rane ran in with Bowie, Donut, Lee, and Lorcu following after him was Rane's Old lady, Natalie. "Zariah?!" Rane said rushing towards me. "I think my water broke" I said even through I was out of breathe.

I laid down in my hospital bed. "Has someone called Jax yet?" I asked. I have been in labor for 6 hours now and only dilated 4 cm. "No. Here is your phone baby girl" Natalie said handing it to me. I dialed Jax's number. It went to voice mail. "Hey Jackson, I'm in labor." I said into his voice mail. I ended the call and called Gemma. "Hello?' She asked. "Where is your son at?" "He is in the garage. Why?" "Cause I'm in labor. And it hurts... really bad" I said as a contraction hit me. "Okay we will be leaving now" Gemma said."Okay see you soon" I said and she hung up.

"6 ½ cm. 4 more cm and you can push" The doctor said before walking out of the room. I rolled back on to my side and Aries rubbed my back. "Aries?" "Yeah Z?" "Can you go and get me food?" I asked. "What kind?" "Anything I don't care" I said. "Okay" He got up and left the room. A few minutes later I heard the door open. "Hey baby" Gemma said walking in with Jax following. "Hey" I said. "You okay?" Jax asked sitting next to the bed, pushing the hair out of my face. "Yeah, I'm fine." I said. Jax kissed my head.

At 12:38 a.m, the doctor said it was time to push. I pushed 3 or 4 times when finally I heard her cry. "Name?" The nurse asked. "Rylan Faith Teller" Jax said as the nurse cleaned her up and tried to hand her to me. "No. Give her to her dad." I said. The nurse handed her to Jax.

Jax stayed the night with us in the hospital. The next day they let us go home and Gemma drove Rylan and I back to the clubhouse. We where talking when Gemma said this "You will never again read a newspaper without asking, 'What if that had been MY child?'. No matter how many years you have invested in your career, you will be professionally derailed by motherhood. you might arrange for childcare, but one day you will be going into an important business meeting and you will think of Rylan's sweet smell. You will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure your baby is all right. Your every day decisions will no longer be routine. However decisive you may be, you will second-guess yourself constantly as a mother. Your relationship with Jax will change, but not in the way you think. You won't know how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. You will fall in love with him again for reasons you would now find very unromantic.".

"Come back to Charming with me." Jax said. "Why? I already told you that I have no reason to be in Charming." I said. "So I can have both my kids close to me. I changed for them Z." Jax said. I set sleeping Rylan down in her pack and play. "Well, I'm staying here. You can come up here and do what ever you want. But I'm not packing up my life for you." I said. "Your family is in Charming." Jax said. "I already told you Jackson. I'm not leaving." I said before walking out of the room. "Why won't you come back to Charming? Just give me one reason why and I'll leave it alone." Jax said soflty pushing me against the wall and looking at me. "Because you don't love me! Because you play me like a fucking game every time I run back to Charming so now that Rylan is here you want me there? No. Fuck you and your wants." I said before going to the kitchen and grabbing some food. "My wants? You're kidding me right? I only want the best for you and Rylan. I just want you guys closer." "You want the best for me and Rylan?. Stop kidding your self Jax." I said. "Why don't you believe me?" "Because you told Happy that you weren't going any where and as soon as I have my back turned you go and fuck Tara so fuck you." I said. "I fucking love you Zariah." "Yeah like I haven't heard that one before." I said with my bowl of cereal in my hand and pushing Jax out of the door way.

Jax was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. I was sitting up on table with Rylan in my arms. She was snuggled up in her blanket. "If I ask again to come back to Charming. To be with me. To be with Gemma. To be around people who love you, Will you come? You don't have to be with me. You don't even need to be close to me. You don't even have to love me. I just want my daughter close to me. Even if that means I can't love you. I was stupid for even thinking about Tara. Rylan needs her family close. It will be the best for her. " Jax asked putting out his cigarette. I looked down at Rylan. She stretched and yawned. "Can I answer that tomorrow?" I asked looking at him. Jax nodded his head.

I sat in the rocking chair at 3:29 a.m with Rylan screaming her head off. "What's up with her?" Jax asked walking in. "I don't know. She has been like this for a hour and a half now." I said. "Hand her over." Jax said. I handed her to Jax and he sat down with her on the bed. She looked up at him and stopped crying. "Thank you." I said before getting back under my blankets. "Any time." Jax said. I fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two.

You ain't seen nothing yet.

I woke up to a cold bed a week later. I looked at the side of the bed where Jax had slept for the past week. "Tara no.. I can't come back yet. She needs me here." I heard Jax whisper in the hall way. "She needs me. She knows she does or she would have asked me to leave." he said again. "I gotta go. Love you to." He said. I sat up in bed. Jax went to the bathroom. I grabbed his duffel bag and all his belongings. I shoved them all into the bag. "What the hell are you doing Zariah?" Jax asked walking back in to the bed room. I zipped it up and threw it at him. "Leave. Just leave Jax." I said before turning and walking to my dresser. "What did I do now Zariah?" Jax asked. I turned around and pushed him. My hands landing on his chest. "You never loved me. All I was to you was to keep your mind busy when Tara wasn't around. If you really did loved me you wouldn't have let me leave. You wouldn't have let my dad send me up to Ireland. If you really loved me you wouldn't have waited to kill Pierce. You would have done it as soon as you saw me. You never loved me." I said pushing him again and again. "Zariah!" Jax yelled pinning my arms to my sides. "I hate you! I fucking hate you!" I screamed at him. "Zariah!" Jax yelled at me again. I looked at him and tried to get my arms out of his grip. "I do love you." Jax said. "No you don't. I don't need you and I sure as hell don't want you. I hate you." I said. Jax let go of me and walked out of the club house.

I shoved the last box in the back of my truck. "Yay, all packed up in an hour. Thanks guys." I said. Hundred Proof and Germ nodded their heads. Even through it was 11 at night, I decided to move to Lodi, so Rylan can be close to her dad. I laid down in my room while Ry slept. I picked up my blinking phone. I flipped it open to see voice mails from Jax. I listened to them, "Message from Jax, at 3:49 today. Look Zariah. Start acting like a grown up and start being a mom. Call me back.. Second message at 5:55 today. Zariah, answer your phone. Come on Zar, this isn't very grown up, ignoring my calls and everything. Third message today at 10:34 today. Zariah, you're acting really childish. Not answering your phone is reminding me of 14 year old you. Running away from your problems, not answering your phone. I want a DNA test for Rylan. If she is mine, you are losing all rights. Shitty mother or not. Answer your fucking phone." I snapped my phone shut. I looked at Rylan. She looks exactly like Jax. Dirty blond hair, light blue eyes, same little puffly lips and the same smile. There is no one else that I slept with. I called Jax back. "Hello?" He said drunkenly. "You want a DNA test fine, you can get one but look at Rylan. She looks just like you, if your even sober enough to remember what she looks like. I'm moving to Lodi for her. I'm leaving tomorrow and I will not need you or any of SAMCRO there." I said. "Why are we even talking then?" Jax asked. "Says the guy who called me three times and left me tons of text messages." I said before snapping my phone shut.

I pulled up to my new house. I grabbed Rylan's car seat and unlocked the house. I asked the some of the guys to come and cleaned before I moved in and they did. I got the boxes out and piled them up into the rooms where they belonged. It was a two story house. Two bedrooms each with a bathroom, a balcony and a huge kitchen along with a dinning room a little bit bigger and two front rooms, one on the west side and one on the east side.

"Hey Juice?" "Hey Z, What's up?" "I got this security system and I have no idea how or what to do. Think you have time to come up and do it for me? I'll cook dinner." I said. "Green Chile burgers with bacon and cheese?" He asked. "Of course!" I said. Juice had introduced me to those things and they are delicious. Especially when you get the green chile from New Mexico. "I'm on my way, with Jax, and Opie." Juice said.

The guys stayed the night. Jax helped me clean up the kitchen. "Zariah, will you atleast look at me?" Jax asked. I glared at him before going back to washing the dishes. "Will you say something?" "Boy meets girl. Girl falls hard. Boy doesn't even stumble." I said. "Zariah," Jax started to say but Rylan started to cry. I went upstairs and got her. I sat in the rocking chair and started to nurse her.

I laid down after pulling out a few blow up mattress for the guys. I gave them blankets. Jax slept next to me. He got up a few times during the night. But mostly it was me. I woke up to Jax standing over me. "What?" I mumbled. "We're heading out, Rylan is dressed, changed and fed. Are you taking her to see Happy today?" Jax said. "Yeah," I said sitting up, "But it's not going to be until later, Can you guys make it out okay?" I continued. "I don't think so, but since its still early, Can we treat you guys to a breakfast?" "Yeah, sure. Give me ten?" I asked sitting up. "Yeah." Jax said.

Jax's P.O.V

I watched as Zariah stood up in her shorts and tank top. I shook off the thought of pinning her down and getting my way with her. I was with Tara and that was final. Zariah came out 15 minutes later in her purple shirt that said "Juicy" and her jeans that hugged her thighs but flared out at the feet and had a few holes in the legs. I busied my self with getting Rylan ready. I put her in her car seat and buckled her up, putting a blanket over her car seat.

I saw the way how Juice was watching Zariah. Sure they were only a year apart but still, there is no need to watch my girl- I mean Zariah like that. Zariah followed us to the Lodi county limits then we pulled over so I can kiss Ry good bye and let Zariah say bye to the guys.

Juice's P.O.V.

I saw the way how Jax looked at Zariah, as if he has some type of label on her. She was a great person and an even better mom, seeing her in sweat pants, tank top, messy hair and eyes full of love made her attractive. What happened last night replayed in my head again and again.

~Last Night~

I heard Rylan cry so I got up since Zariah just went back to bed. I turned on the light and picked up Rylan. "Hey, Princess. What's the matter?" I said softly. I sat in the rocking chair and laid her against my naked chest. Rylan quiet down but looked up at me as if to say "I want mom here in 5 seconds or I'm crying at the top of my lungs." Zariah came in with a bottle in her hand shaking it up. She smiled. "Big tough biker playing daddy?" She asked. I laughed, "No, just wanted to help a little, since you just went back to bed." I said. She handed me the bottle and sat on the floor. "She usually sleeps pretty good, I don't know whats wrong with her tonight." she said tiredly. She leaned her head against the wall. "I got this if you want to go back to bed." I said. "I'll stay in here just in case you need me." She said, looking at me with her dark blue eyes. I burped and changed Rylan and laid her back down. Zariah stood at the crib and watched Rylan sleep for a few seconds before lightly running a finger down the baby girls face. She turned off the main light and left on the little lamp on the far side of the room. We both walked out and she left the door cracked. We walked back down the hall to her room. "Night Juice, thanks." She said. "Night Zar, you're welcome." I said watching her walk into her room. "Hey Zariah?" I asked, "Yeah?" She said leaning against the door way. I stood really close to her small frame. I put a finger under her chin and she looked up at me. I leaned in and kissed her lips. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back. I wrapped my arms around her body. Then her hands came down on to my chest and she softly pushed me away. "Um, I'm uh, gotta go to bed." she said blushing. Then Rylan cried. "Or not." she said before walking back to Rylan's room. "Good night Zariah, Sweet dreams." I said with a smirk on my face. "Um yeah, you too." She said.

~Present day~

We ate at IHOP. Zariah and Jax got into it because Rylan was throwing a fit.

Zariah's P.O.V

"Why is she cranky?" Jax asked looking at me. "I don't know, maybe because every few minutes we both were woken up?" I snapped. "Well I didn't hear anything or I would have gotten up." Jax said taking a bite of his food. "You heard her and you just put the pillow over your head. I walked past you count less times Jax. I even shook you awake with my foot but you just rolled over." I said. "Sorry, I'm not use to this daddy stuff like everyone else is around here." Jax said with attitude. "Well maybe if you didn't run off every time I needed someone there then you would be good at this dad stuff." I said. "I'm in this boat alone Zariah. Sorry I can't pick up on something like this." Jax said getting agitated. "Better learn how real fast Jax, cause you just don't have Abel, Jax. You also have Rylan. So if you want to be in her life then be there, or you can leave before she can even remember you. Make up your mind and make it up fast cause I'm not waiting for ever." I said standing up and picking up Rylan's car seat with her in it, the diaper bag on my shoulder. "I want a DNA test Zariah, because she looks a hell of a lot like Zozik." Jax said before I walked out. I unlocked the truck and put in Rylan's car seat in its base and got in to the driver's seat. I watched as the guys all got on their bikes before I pulled out of the parking lot.

Happy's P.O.V

I was in the fenced in area of the jail when I saw Jax, Opie and Juice ride by and saw Zariah's truck pull into the parking lot. Within an half of hour they called me in. "You got a beautiful granddaughter Happy, Looks just like her momma." Caleb said. I nodded my head and walked into the visitation center.

Zariah asked Caleb if I could hold Rylan and Caleb nodded. Zariah smiled and walked over with Rylan in her car seat. I smiled as Rylan got handed over to me. "So, how's everything going?" I asked. "Great but Jax wants a DNA test because she 'looks like Zozik'" she said putting quote marks in the air. "He is just digging his hole deeper and deeper." I said looking at Rylan. "Oh and Juice and I kissed last night." she said. "You what with Juice last night?" "Hey- hey- hey now. Its not like I'm fucking him." She said. I laughed. "So how have you been?" she asked. "Okay. I rather be out than in." I said. She nodded and Rylan started to cry. Zariah shook up a bottle and handed it to me.

Zariah P.O.V

I drove home and left Rylan to sleep in her car seat as I set in down next to my bed. I laid down and cuddled my pillow. I must have fallen asleep cause the next thing I remember was Lee and Kozik shaking me awake. "What the hell?" I said looking between the two of them. "Decided to drop by and see how you are." Kozik said. "How the hell did you get in?" I asked. "Picked the lock after we heard the baby crying." Lee said. "She wasn't crying." I said, looking down at her empty car seat. "Where is my daughter." I asked. "She is in her swing. She was too crying. I made her a bottle and now she is a happy baby." Lee said. "Gosh, good thing no one broke in." I said. "Yeah." Kozik said.

I made dinner and we sat at the table. I laid Rylan down after her bottle and a clean diaper and walked back down stairs. "So, not to sound rude or anything but why are you here?" I asked sitting on the couch. "Jax called and asked us to come by. Something about a DNA test." Lee said. "Oh no, not you guys too. Lee, come on, how many chances did I have to sleep with Koz." I asked. "Zero." Kozik said. "Exactly so don't let your top VP talk shit." I said getting up. "Zariah. Don't go causing mayhem just yet." Lee said. "I under stand that you're the president of Tacoma's charter but do not tell me what to do. I respect you more than I probably respect any one. But with Jax calling you and telling you that Rylan isn't his is a ton of bull shit and you know it. You saw her and who did you see?" I asked. "Jax." Lee said. "Exactly. Now, you can either let me make a phone call or follow me up to Charming, either way, Jax is going to hear it from me." I said looking at him.

The next day I rode bitch with Lee as Kozik drove my truck. His bike in the bed. Lee twisted the throttle and the bike launched forward. I smiled as the wind blew through my hair. I looked behind me and waved at Koz, who seemed to be talking to Rylan.

It was around noon the next day when we pulled in to Teller Morrow. I got off and walked up to Jax. "We gotta talk." I said. "I'm busy." Jax said. "Fine. We can just handle it in the ring later." I said as I got in my truck. Kozik and Lee had unloaded Kozik's bike and parked it with the others. "See you later babe." I said as Jax looked back at me. As I was pulling out of TM, Tara was pulling in. She glared at me and I smiled at her. Gotta kill them with kindness, or as Happy always said "Gotta kill them with every little sharp thing you got and make them bleed. Then do it all over again the next day."


End file.
